Tip-toe through to my heart
by simirulz
Summary: He has never experienced the sensation of being in love. He is however a single dad. Having moved to earth to take care of his daughter, he is unprepared for when it actually happens.
1. Chapter 1

''Father… why does mother not want me?''

Spock stops in his tracks, the brutal honesty of his daughters question seeming to suck all the air out of his lungs.

''Clarify, young one.''

''Approximately three years ago Mother indicated to you that she no longer wished to remain bonded to you and that you should take me with you when you severed your bond. I merely wished to know, now that I am six years of age, why my mother felt the need to discard our familial bonds.''

Looking down at his daughter, her severe expression so unnatural on her tiny elfin face, he finds that he wishes desperately that he could let go of his Vulcan controls and simply embrace her. He curses T'Pring for the thousandth time for placing him in this situation. It did not matter how she had treated him for all those years when he had lived on Vulcan with her as his wife. He would never forgive her for causing this uncertainty in his daughter.

''This is not a matter I can explain to you young one, as I cannot presume to know your mothers mind or thoughts.'' He deflects and his heart give a squeeze as he sees his daughters shoulders droop in disappointment.

''I see.'' He hears her small voice float up from somewhere near the vicinity of his knees and he sighs quietly. Bending down, ignoring the looks of the passing humans, he carefully brushes a hand against her temple in rare display of public affection.

''It matters not T'lera, as I will always value you. I will always ' _want_ ' you. You are blood of my blood and my sole reason for living. It is only logical to love and cherish ones children. I cherish thee. I care for thee, my young one.'' He whispers quietly to her and he breathes a sigh of relief as he sees a small smile appear in the corner of her lips before it too quickly vanishes.

''I cherish thee as well, father.''

''Indeed.'' His eyes are warm and gentle as he stands up and reaches out his hand.

''I thought it inappropriate for a Vulcan of my age to still need the guidance of her father's hand when crossing a road.''

''Today we will make an exception.'' He says simply as he clasps her tiny fragile hand in his own, projecting his love and reassurance through their contact. He can feel her happiness in this moment. She knows that she will always be loved, be cherished, that he would die before he allows anyone or anything to come between them or hurt her.

* * *

''Father? May we please purchase what my peers refer to as 'ice cream' on the way back to our home?'' he hears her mutter thirty-five minutes into their walk and he follows her gaze over the road to where a human male is exuberantly fighting off a dozen children who are all screaming for the sweetened snack.

''I am, as your father, compelled to point out that you have yet to partake in your evening meal and that should you dine on this sweetened frozen dairy product, there is a statistically likelihood of seventy-four point nine percent that you will be too full to finish your main meal.''

''I disagree Father. I estimate there to be only a forty-nine percent chance that it will indeed ruin my dinner.'' He sees her pout and he lifts his eyebrow at her faulty mathematics.

''I see you are learning the art of persuasion.'' He says referring to her pouty bottom lip which juts out defiantly and a slight shrug of her shoulders suggests she agrees with him.

''I have observed other children display this characteristic when they have set eyes upon something that they desire. It appears to always be successful.''

''Of course.'' He murmurs and giving in to his daughters whims he leads them across the road and Spock braces himself for the struggle ahead.

Pushing his way through the throngs of screaming, sweaty, laughing children he eventually reaches the man who is expertly navigating this minefield of emotions that he himself is desperate to avoid.

Spock's first thought as the main gazes up and into his eyes is just how very blue this man's eyes are. Almost artificially so. His nose is dusted with light freckles which taper off and vanish as his cheekbones are highlighted by the sun. His hair is blond, but not just with one shade, but with no less than _five_ different variations of the colour. His teeth are straight and white against his tanned, golden skin, his lips a rosy shade of red and Spock simply _stares_.

His heart has skipped no less than four beats in the minute that he has locked eyes with this stranger. He is, for lack of a better word, _stunning_.

''Hey man, you okay?'' he hears the man ask and Spock quickly suppresses the urge to ask him to repeat himself simply so that he can revel in the timber, the bass of the man's voice again.

''I... am adequate. I wish to purchase…'' he stutters mid-speech as the man begins to snicker.

''We have strawberry, vanilla, mint and chocolate chip today. Although I've read that chocolate doesn't go well with you guys.'' The man smirks and Spock takes a step back in response, his stomach churning for some unexplainable reason.

''Vanilla. One. Please.'' He manages to croak out and he curses that his voice has come out similar to that of a human male experiencing puberty.

''Sure. Two credits please.'' The man says again and Spock swallows, his adams apple bobbing in his throat as he sees the blonde god stick his tongue out from the corner of his mouth as he scoops the frozen dairy product into what he now recalls is a 'cone' for holding the snack.

Spock hands him the money wordlessly, his eyes never leaving the perplexingly stunning sight and as the credit chip is passed over, he almost groans in regret when the man purposefully avoids touching him.

''Voila! One vanilla ice cream.''

The 'ice-cream' is melting in the hot summer day but Spock could not care less at this moment in time as he vaguely feels the sticky moisture run down his fingers when he takes it from him.

''Are you sure you're okay?''

''Yes.''

''Okay. Uh, see you around?''

''Yes.''

Spock takes a step back and turns on his heels, narrowly avoiding knocking over a child as he turns, so desperate was he to return to normalcy.

''Father…? You have been unresponsive for three minutes.'' He feels a tug on his sleeve and he guiltily and belatedly realises that his daughter has been trying to garner his attention.

''I am well, T'lera. I was simply… deep in thought.'' He frowns slightly as he passes the dripping food over to his daughter who is nearly vibrating with excitement at being bought a 'treat'.

''Once you have eaten, we will cut our walk short as I have an urgent matter to attend to.'' He follows his daughter unthinkingly as she seats herself on a wooden park bench and he takes the seat beside her.

He is conflicted.

His eyes return to the man at the ice cream stand every two minutes for approximately thirty seconds at a time. He feels drawn in, caught like a proverbial moth to a flame as he watches the man interact with the children, laughing, ruffling their hair and swatting at the ones who are over-eager.

He has thus far never felt this type of attraction to anyone. This need to consume, to devour, to discover.

He curses his human half for bringing forth such new emotions, such new sensations, such new urges and he forces his eyes away to look back to his daughter who has taken to swinging her feet back and forth above the ground as she eats.

He takes a deep breath and marvels at how she is always able to centre him. She is a remarkable child. It is not logical to feel pride and yet he is fit to bursting with it whenever he looks upon her. Having moved to Earth two years ago she has adapted to her surrounding with such ease that he almost envies her. And while it is not the Vulcan way to express so much emotion in one's facial expressions or body language, he cannot find it in himself to correct her.

She is perfect the way she is. It is not Vulcan to have friends. And yet when he collects her from day-care each day his heart is warmed to see her surrounded by humans who claim to be just that.

Yes, this, she - his daughter - was all he needed in his life.

His eyes flicker back to the ice-cream stand and his breath catches as he his transfixed by the colour blue staring back at him. A smile spreads on his lips and for the first time in years since his bond was broken with his wife… he feels… fascinated.

* * *

He does not know why he returns to the same park an exact week later. He does not know if the man will be there and yet he feels compelled to go anyway. His daughter, who he has collected from day-care, has come along with him and if he feels a slight twinge of guilt of using her as an excuse to once more visit this recreational area for children, he stifles it as soon as it appears.

''Father, I have sensed that you have been most agitated as of late. May I enquire as to the source of your discomfort?''

Spock wishes for a moment that his child was not so adept at figuring out his moods and sighs internally as her inquisitive brown eyes shine up at him. She looks so much like her mother in this moment that he feels an itch start at the back of his neck. He resists the temptation to scratch under her scrutinising stare.

How could he explain to his six year old daughter that he has been absolutely and utterly beguiled by an _ice-cream man_? That his thoughts had been plagued by visions of a golden haired beauty each night before he commits himself to sleep? How could he explain this new fluttering sensation he feels in the region of his intestines whenever he thinks of the man? His excitement at once more setting eyes on the human that has bewitched him is palpable in the air and as they cross the road to the park, his hand twitches around hers as his eyes scan their surroundings. Searching eagerly for some sign of him.

''I am not experiencing any discomfort. Merely an emotion that I am unfamiliar with.'' He corrects her and he ignores her own raised eyebrow of disbelief.

''Do you intend to once again purchase me an ice-cream? I have heard of children who get rewarded weekly if their behaviour has been acceptable. Am I to assume that you have adopted the idea?'' she comments and he stops to look down at her with a small frown.

''Your behaviour has always been commendable for someone of your age. I do not need a reason to indulge you in dietary treats. I do so simply because I wish too.'' He says and he sees how she represses the urge to giggle at him.

''As you say, father.'' But her words are underlined with pride at being praised and if she skips the last three steps to the bench he does not comment on it.

''What are we waiting for?''

''T'lera, whist I appreciate that you have a curious mind and are always eager to learn…why do you feel the need to question everything? I find that if you spend too long questioning what it is or why something is that way, then you lose the chance to admire the simple beauty of it existing altogether.''

He raises a brow at her contemplative look and when they sit and wait on the bench, she folds her tiny hands in her lap and simply stares off into the distance, a slight quirk to her mouth as she also observes her surroundings.

The two sit in companionable silence until both are startled, a tiny and later deniable squeak leaving his daughter and he, himself puffing out a breath from shock. The sound is atrocious, a blaring melody of rock music which Spock would swear he can feel penetrating through to his bones. He cocks his head to the side and wishes briefly that Vulcan hearing was not twice that of humans.

Absolute pandemonium breaks out as the vehicle comes to a standstill and every child within the recreational area practically sprints towards the music. The music mercifully switches itself off and it is instantly replaced by screaming children. He does not know which he would prefer if he were ever given a choice.

''Father, may I attempt to purchase the ice-cream myself?'' his daughter asks and he is loathe to grant her this wish.

''Humans, as you know, especially children are not adept at controlling their emotions. You are a touch telepath, my young one. I would not see you overwhelmed or hurt by transference if they should come into close bodily contact with you.'' He says and ah… there comes the lip again.

''I am on Earth. I am six years of age and three grades above my age group. Father, I am well aware that I could be overwhelmed by others emotions however I still feel it would be in my best interest to attempt this. If I learn at a young age to control what emotions bleed through my shields, I can then in turn learn to adapt so that it does not occur again.''

He is proud. And dare he say - _highly amused_ \- at her impassioned speech of how she should be given the freedom to do as she so wishes. He takes a torturous moment – _for her_ – to internally debate with himself. He has as of yet not dared to look over to the vendor selling the ice-creams, a part of him dreading the disappointment if the man he is searching for is not there and equally dreading the influx of emotions he will experience if he is there.

Perhaps his daughter going would allow him to continue observing from a distance and therefore give him a chance to further analyse why he is so drawn to this man.

''Very well. However, if you feel any discomfort….''

He can sense her sigh of frustration and he watches avidly how she controls what would have no doubt been a spectacular tantrum, were she a human child.

''Thank you, father. May I please have the necessary funds to make my purchase?''

He hands her the credits she has asked for and before he can caution her again – his mouth opening uselessly- he sees her walking briskly and bravely to the mass of screaming pink humans.

Her school uniform is an eye-catching blue, the red ribbon in her tied up black hair a startling contrast to her surroundings and he is thankful that her clothing makes her easy to keep track of. He sees how she navigates the children, her shoulders twisting in ungodly ways as she attempts to evade the children who are all pushing against each other – hands outstretched towards the vehicle.

She reaches the front and he illogically finds himself holding his breath as she makes her first ever purchase by herself and when his gaze starts to drift up, above her head, he forgets to breathe entirely as he catches sight of the man who has haunted his waking and sleeping moments.

Terrifyingly beautiful blue eyes have caught his own again and even as the man bends down to listen to his daughter's request, it never leaves him. Spock feels himself flush under the hot sun; his normally pale skin turning a shade of green similar to the leaves and grass surrounding him. His daughter continues to speak and when the man straightens and turns his body in Spock's direction with a wink – Spock finally remembers that breathing is conducive to staying alive. The air he has been withholding bursts out of him in a gust as his lips part.

The man is walking towards him, T'lera by his side, the screaming clamouring children now being attended to by a severe looking man, a grimace constantly on his face.

Why, oh why has his daughter deemed it necessary to bring this man along with her? Did he perhaps give her the incorrect funds? Has she offended him somehow? Would he have to speak to this man and bear witness once again to his _own humiliation_ when his voice cracks again?

''Hi.'' Says the man and Spock estimates that he has precisely four seconds in which to find his voice or he will be categorised as an imbecile. First impressions are made so quickly on this planet after all.

''Hello.''

He is proud his voice has not cracked. He is however disturbed to find that the closer the man walks, the more his body reacts. He is suddenly hyper-aware of how much distance lies between the two of them. Seven exact steps and Spock will be able to smell the man. To see the pores on his nose, to see the creases around his eyes when he smiles. His heart rate increases to dangerous levels and he wills it to slow down immediately lest he make a fool of himself and succumb to a 'dizzy spell'.

''Your girl was very brave just now. She told me that as this was her first time buying anything and that she wanted me to come over and give you a report of how the whole thing went.'' He says with a chuckle and Spock can only nod in response.

''So, uh... she did really well. She was… clear and concise in her order and she handled the exchange of money with ease.''

''Indeed.'' He says as he fights not to close his eyes in bliss as the human continues to speak.

''I know this is awkward as hell … but, T'lera is it? Yeah, T'lera also told me that you have been… thinking of me? It's cool if you haven't… I mean I just thought you know, that if you have... that the two of us should maybe _goforadrinksometime_?''

Spock blinks twice at the garbled end of the humans sentence, realising the man is experiencing embarrassment. His gaze swiftly turns on his daughter in irritation for the violation of his privacy. She appears to feel no shame for the fact that she has purposefully set up this encounter.

''Never mind. It's cool. I'll just –'' the man backs away with his hands in the air and Spock's brain restarts itself.

''My daughter is correct. I have 'been thinking about you'.''

 _He will die of mortification in his private chambers… later._

''Hey, that's good. I mean that's great. So do you –''

''I am not against meeting you at a later date to partake in alcoholic beverages.''

The golden-haired man laughs, running his hand through his hair, the strands parting expertly between his long fingers and Spock finds himself following the arch of the human's wrist, up to his palms and further up to the tips of his fingers.

''I am Spock.'' He introduces himself and he is intrigued further when the man mouths the word Spock silently, the shape of his mouth contorting in fascinating ways as he murmurs each letter.

''It's a pleasure to meet you Spock. I'm James Kirk.'' He holds up his hand in the taal and Spock returns the greeting, surprise lifting both of his brows.

He feels the warmth of the sun settle somewhere deep in his gut along with another feeling he cannot place. He files away the memory of this beautiful man and his rebellious daughter to be reviewed later.

 _It is indeed a pleasure._


	2. Chapter 2

He has arrived early.

Thirty-five minutes early, in fact. He recalls the details of his meeting with James, the _one-hundred and ten_ different details which all pertain to the human's physical appearance and personality. He can recall James' light-hearted laughter, the deep and rich quality of his voice as he spoke and yet he cannot remember any of the _actual words_ being spoken when they met. He recalls the way the breeze blew strands of hair onto James' forehead, an attractive curl forming and the restraint it took for him to not push it back with shaking fingers.

He recalls the freckles scattered along his forearms, the blonde hair dusting the surface of skin in swirls and the spark of curiosity that had flared in him as he thought about what patterns they would make should he trace them with his finger.

''Excuse me Sir? Are you ready to order?''

He declines the waitress's offer and sighs quietly as he stares out the restaurants windows.

It irks him to no end that he has developed these feelings when he has lived the last twenty-eight years of his life without them. He has not - nor has he ever been - attracted to T'Pring. Yes, he thought that she had the appropriate aesthetic qualities that others would deem beautiful, but whenever his eyes had fallen upon her all he had managed to observe, was her ice cold exterior and the disdain in her eyes whenever she had taken the time to afford him any attention.

A shiver crept down his spine as he sat waiting in the restaurant that James had recommend they convene in; the customers were all conversing animatedly about their daily lives and Spock wonders briefly what his life would have been like had he been born fully human, before dismissing the thought as irrelevant. This was his life; if he had not been born by the human Lady Amanda he would not now have his daughter.

Spock looks down at his clothes and a small frown creases his mouth. Why is he so concerned about his state of dress? These are merely pieces of fabric to cover his body and protect it from the environment and yet he has this illogical urge to appear appealing to the human he is about to meet.

Logically, James would not have invited him out for a 'date' as the humans say, if he did not find something appealing about his person and yet he has another feeling that is plaguing him. Doubt.

His self-confidence was a matter which he had long thought had never existed. Having never been praised or looked upon as worthy by anyone other than his mother, he had long ago stopped seeking the approval of others.

And yet here he sits, doubting and over-thinking every aspect and detail of his very existence, all merely because he wishes to gain the approval of a single human being. If he were _more_ human he would laugh at himself derisively, instead all he does is continue to swirl his thumbs together beneath the table and eagerly anticipate James' arrival.

A bell sounds off in the distance above the restaurants door and he turns his head so quickly in that direction that he may have to seek medical attention after this encounter. He grimaces slightly as he performs a light version of a Vulcan neck pinch on himself, forcing the muscles to relax.

Impatience.

He is not accustomed to dealing with these emotions and for some highly unusual reason and with no logic to fall back on he finds himself becoming more and more angry as the minutes seemed to pass. _Why?_ He questions and the absurdity of the whole situation prompts him to stand, gather his belongings and make for the exit before he can make a fool of himself.

The bell sounds again and Spock's stomach proceeds to land somewhere round the region of his knees. He will not look in that direction, disappointment at the lack of James' appearance settles heavily in his gut and with a resigned sigh at the failure of his first ever date, he turns.

''Spock? Going somewhere?'' a low, confused voice questions him and he lifts his head to face the direction of the voice.

''I…'' he starts but the man smiles and his thoughts derail, his mouth falling open slightly at the sight.

''Look, I'm so sorry I'm a bit late. I teach classes on campus down the road and the students just wouldn't let me leave today.'' He chuckles and Spock just simply nods his head.

''You weren't gonna bail on me, were you?'' he asks and confoundingly Spock pictures them in together in a small boat, sinking but laughing as they bail out water using wooden buckets. He stifles a snort and closes his eyes for a brief second as he tries to compose himself. His irrational anger from earlier having dissipated the moment James had appeared.

''I cannot tell a lie. I was indeed about to leave.''

''Why? Cause I was a few minutes late?'' he hears and is surprised to find a haughty tone to the man's voice.

''It is of no matter. You are here now.''

''Ok then. But I must warn you I may not be able to always be on time in the future.'' James says as he puts a hand on Spock's lower back and guides him back his seat. Spock for all his eloquence and literary knowledge, all the vast information his mind can absorb, cannot think of a single thing to say to this human seated across from him now. Was he perhaps intellectually inferior to this man or is it a case of _at this moment_ simply not having anything common.

Were dates between humans always this awkward in the beginning?

''Spock!''

He snaps his head up and blushes a light green as he realizes James has been speaking to him and he has essentially blanked out every word.

''My apologies James, I am…. ''

''Are you nervous?'' he queries and Spock's mind flicks back to his research on the creation of black holes and wonders how to create one that would only singularly suck him up and out of existence whilst leaving the rest of the vicinity unscathed.

''No.'' he replies seriously.

''It's OK you know. I am too.'' The human smirks, the dusting of light freckles on his cheeks turning a darker colour as the blush he is trying to conceal pushes through regardless.

''I see. I will alter my statement from earlier. I am simply unfamiliar with the protocols of how a ''date'' is meant to be carried out and find myself…''

''You're nervous.''

''I am not.''

James begins to laugh, his hand coming up under his chin, the stubble on his face making a rasping sound against the smooth skin on his palm and it finally dawns on Spock that he is being teased, affectionately so.

''Very well. Lest I wish to continue to be teased I will agree to your statement simply because I do not know how to reciprocate your behaviour.''

''You're surprisingly honest and straightforward for a Vulcan, Spock. I like it.'' James grins and Spock bizarrely breathes a sigh of relief at this man's acceptance of him.

''T'Lera says that they make a mean vegetarian pizza here.'' James mumbles from behind his menu and Spock's eyebrows raise in confusion.

''I was unaware that you had had the time to discuss culinary options with my daughter the last time we encountered one another.''

''You've got a smart girl there, Spock. Somehow, she managed to track down my comm details. I hope you don't mind me speaking to her.'' He asks hesitantly, an anxious tone to his voice as if though he were afraid that he had crossed some Vulcan taboo.

''I shall have to speak to her again about maintaining values and codes of privacy and personal space. Please accept my apologies for her behaviour.''

''No, no it's fine. I'm glad she tracked me down, it gave me a chance to suss out where I wanted to meet with you. Plus, if she had maintained those codes and values you keeping going on about we wouldn't be here in the first place and I'm very, very happy she broke them.''

A warm feeling situates itself inside Spock's chest cavity as he interprets James statement.

 _He is happy that he is here. With Spock._

''Anyway, she reminds me a lot of my son.'' He says and Spock chokes on the minuscule amount of water that he has just started sipping from his glass.

''You have a child?''

''His name is David.''


	3. Chapter 3

It broke her to leave him.

To see his tiny body, which had grown inside of her these past months, lying so still and calm in her arms. At only a day old it was almost too much to bear as she traced a finger down the pointed ears of her child, over his slanted brows and down his button nose; her own features reflecting back at her.

She pulls his blanket higher up, tucking it beneath his chin as she places a lingering kiss on his forehead. She blinks furiously to dispel the onslaught of tears which threatens her resolve, digging deep into her Romulan roots she clings desperately onto what is left of her pride and dignity.

She has no other option. Logic dictates that this is the only course of action she can take to ensure that her child may live.

Her heart clenches and skips a beat when the bundle in her arms stirs, a small mewl escaping his pink mouth as he settles deeper into the blanket. She holds him closer to her chest hoping the sound of her heart beat and the warmth of her body will keep him calm and quiet.

The docks are empty at this late hour, nothing but the cargo swaying in the breeze from long fraying ropes, the smell of oil and rusted metal strong in the air as she cautiously approaches the ship she has selected for this final act of motherhood.

The ship is a pirate vessel, the brands scorched into the side a clear indicator of their nefarious deeds and status amongst the other vessels who docked here to carry out their business. The leader was infamous for his antics and was widely used amongst the high class of her kind when official channels were not adequate.

She has taken the time to investigate the leader R'faan; his brutality towards his enemies, his wisdom in battle and his cunning and charm when dealing with politicians to be equally as commendable as it was worrisome.

And yet…

It was his hidden compassion for the lost and the lonely that ultimately led her to choosing him amongst all others to ferry away this precious cargo of hers.

She had seen how he raised the young ones he had gathered into his fold from scrawny weaklings into loyal warriors of note. He was stern and perhaps cruel to a point and her child would by no means live a life of love and luxury but he would be looked after and learn to survive.

If his true identity were to be discovered he would surely be killed.

Upon reaching the crates due to be loaded within the next two hours, she cradles her unwanted yet desperately wanted infant son to her chest for a brief moment, saying a short prayer in her native tongue before placing him amongst the grass embedded between the ships food rations.

She stares down at his tiny elfin face, each line and crease being burned to her memory, before turning on her heel and walking away.

She cannot look back. She must not look back for fear that she will scoop her child back into her arms and flee along with him.

A sharp shrill cry pierces the nights silence and she clutches her head as she feels her familial bond begin to splinter and writhe in agony.

The child's mind grabs frantically at hers – before she slams her shields down and blocks out his mind with more force than she had intended.

This is for the best she continues to chant as she fights the debilitating pain of a broken bond, her tears now flowing freely as her wide eyes stare off into the distance.

The child has gone quiet and nothing but her own muffled sobs can be heard throughout the silence.

A bastard son of a Princess.

The true heir to the Romulan Empire.

Abandoned and unwanted.

He would be forgotten and never found.

This was all she could hope for.

******************  
One year later  
**********************

''Sir. Our scanners are picking up a vessel. Mid-size, minimal hull damage - however scans show only a two life forms on board.'' Chekov instructs as his hand fly about the science station, gathering more readings.

''ETA Mr Chekov?'' Captain Kirk asks, his tone bright and cheery, an apple being tossed from one hand to the other as he surveys the viewing screen.

''We should be arriving in 25 minutes Captain. Scans show we should be able to transport over directly into their cargo bay.''

''Very good Mr Chekov. Uhura, Bones, Sulu… you're up.''

He places his uneaten apple down and stretches before turning to face the landing party he has just summoned, ignoring the glare from his CMO, the resigned look on Uhura's face and the lines of apprehension drawn across his pilot's forehead.

''What's with the mood, guys?'' he asks before he can think better of the question.

''Jim, the last time the four of us beamed aboard a supposedly 'damaged' vessel, you ended up in my sickbay for a week with two broken legs and fractured skull!''

''Hey, come on. How was I supposed to know it was an ambush?''

''And don't forget the mission before that where Sulu was exposed to enough laughing gas that his eyeballs nearly exploded out of his head from all his cackling.'' Bones hisses as Sulu visibly shivers at the mention of his experience.

''Once again, I'd like to point out that was still totally not my fault that the button for the lights was next to the button that released the gas in the first place. Damn Tellerite ships are ass backwards.''

The four make their way to the turbo lift bickering with all seriousness and at the same time half-heartedly at their many, many oh my god so many brushes with death - the lift zooming across decks to the transporter room.

''This will be easy. Let's presume the beings on board are hostile for now. Keep your eyes open people. Ah! Chekov just sent across the schematics of the ship. Seems to be a pirate vessel of unknown origins. We'll board her, check her out and be back here in under an hour.'' He smirks at the collective groan that echoes around the room.

''Dammit Jim! If this goes south it'll be cause you opened your damn mouth and cursed the lotta us.'' His southern accent deep and thick as he storms off to take his place on the transporter.

Jim sighs and shakes his head. Superstitious old man. He hops up the step to the pad, standing in front of them all before quickly leaning back and placing a kiss on Uhura's cheek.

''This is gonna be fun, babe.'' He whispers and she rolls her eyes.

''You know I hate it when you call me that while we're on duty.''

''Whatever you say …babe.'' He winks before he turns to stare at the ensign controlling the transporter panel.

''Energise.''

As one would expect from a derelict ship with hull damage, it was dark and smoky - the red beacons across the tops of the walls flashing warnings of danger that had already come to pass.

Sections of the floor had disappeared and only the blue hum of a containment field protecting the contents and persons within from getting sucked out into the vacuum of space.

Kirk and his team stepped over the few corpses lining the floor, Bones anxiously scanning for any sign of life, shaking his head solemnly as he detected none.  
The cargo that the ship had been carrying was strewn about the floor; food rations, poorly assembled phasers and other black market paraphernalia rolled gently back and forth over the ships floor as the on-board computer fought to maintain gravity aboard the ship.

''What the hell happened here?'' Uhura whispered to Sulu, who shrugged his shoulders muttering something about how this ship had no real fire power and someone must have wanted what was on it badly enough to risk destroying it.

''Bones, can we tell where those life readings are coming from?'' Jim waves a hand in a circle around him but drops to inspect what looks like a doll made from straw. He places it down gently and a frown creases his mouth as he realises there may be children aboard.

''Another fifty feet or so, Jim. Hang a left and straight on for another ten feet.''

Avoiding the crackling and spurting of electrical wires and short circuiting sockets and lights, the team cautiously make their way forward. Bones and Uhura at the back, Sulu and Kirk up front. All ever watchful as they scanned their surroundings, their past experiences still fresh in their minds.

''Through here, Jim.''

The door hisses open loudly and Kirk flinches at the sound of scraping metal on metal. He can't see what's in the room so he activates his tricorder, hoping to find a panel of some sort on the wall that would get the lights.

Uhura gasps as the lights come on, her hand flying to her mouth as an 'oh my god' of pure horror leaves her mouth accompanied by a gagging sound that quickly saw her retching into the corner of the room.

Six cages of varying sizes. Six bodies all in various stages of decomposition, arms and legs hideously contorted and draped through the bars. The black abyss of their mouths and hollow seeming to suck out all the air as their soundless screams echoed around the room. He could see that at least three of the bodies were those of children. Couldn't be any more than three or four years old.

''Goddammit!'' Jim swears, his fingers coming up to squeeze the bridge of his nose, his eyes shutting as he tries to refocus and orient himself.

The smell has started to make itself known over the smoke filled air and he takes a step towards Uhura, an arm coming over her shoulder. He squeezes lightly once, a look in his eye asking silently if she was up for this. She shakes her head slowly and Kirk is proud that she has the ability to know when she has been emotionally compromised by a mission.

''Mister Sulu. Please step outside with Uhura for the time being, while Bones and I assess the situation.'' He says sternly, his captain's persona shining through, stronger and more confident than he felt but that is what is needed at this time. He watches them leave the room before turning around to face Bones.

''Find out what the fuck happened here, Bones.''

''On it.''

''I thought you said there were life signs?!''

''There were! Or at least there still is!''

Kirk hears a small cough from the corner cage and he spins around so fast he nearly loses his balance in his haste to draw his phaser to face the supposed threat.  
Another small cough.

''Bones. There's something alive inside that first cage.''  
''Jim... be careful will ya!''

Kirk walks slowly towards the cage, all he can see is the dead body of an adult male. He doesn't want to look any further but he can't resist the urge to look. The cage is locked but a quick dial down on the power settings on his phaser does the trick. He shoots with precision on the joints - the cage popping open with an overly exaggerated screech.

He sees a small amount of movement behind the corpse, hears the minute rustling of cloth and his blue eyes track the movement. Being aware that it could very well be some space critter with poisonous teeth that somehow made it on the ship, he uses his steel plated boots to roll the dead body off the suspicious bundle.

''Jesus Christ!''

His hands dart forward before his brain has even processed what it is that he is doing.

A small black, grimy face of a baby appears; the blanket draped over the child falling back as Kirk lifts him into his arms. The kid makes no sound apart from his coughing. No crying or whimpering, no movement at all instead lying limp in his arms as it stares at the nearest wall.

''Good god man!'' he hears Bones yell before the already too small cage is filled with the doctors presence, the whirring of his tricorder being replaced by the rummaging sounds of him digging inside his medical bag.

''It's a baby, Bones. I can't believe this… it's like fucking Tarsus all over again. Dying kids everywhere, death and disease. Jesus Christ.'' He growls angrily only to apologise profusely to the child in his arms who had moved one gaunt, sickly eye to look at the source of noise.

''Jim we need to get him back on board. Let me take him.''

''No, no I need to be the one to do this. I couldn't save anyone on Tarsus, let me do this. Please.''

Bones stares at him for a minute wanting to mention that Jim had saved twelve people in fact and wondered briefly it was worth the effort to point out that the Captain had lost his reason. He could declare him unfit to command and stating that he was emotionally compromised by the mission, but hell – at this point who wasn't.

''Let me give him a quick shot, it should clear his airways long enough for me to give him a proper exam back on the enterprise.''

He produces a hypo seemingly from nowhere and Kirk braces himself for the squeal of pain that all infants give out upon being injected with a large needle but nothing but a small flinch escapes him. Kirk doesn't know what to think staring down at the boy in puzzlement.

Has the kid been subjected to so much trauma in his short life that he has numbed himself to it all or is he just that defeated and battered that a little more pain doesn't matter?

''Scans showed there were two life signs aboard. Bones can you tell which direction the other one is in?'' He cradles the bundle to his chest and begins a soft patting rhythm on the child's back as he begins to pace back and forth across the room.

''Yeah, just give me a sec' and I'll have a look for you.'' The whirring of the tricorder is interrupted by several grunts of frustration before finally showing a location.

''It's coming from the bridge. Jim – I really do think we should beam back and send another team over. The kid probably hasn't had a decent meal since he was born. We need to take him back, Kid.''

Jim stares down at the boy and relents nodding his head in agreement before making for the exit.

Uhura is deep in conversation with Sulu, his arm is round her shoulders and Kirk kicks back the mild annoyance that flares up inside of him at seeing someone else comfort her but he shrugs it off.

Now is not the time.

Uhura spots him from the corner of her eye and offers him a weak smile before noticing his precious cargo. She immediately runs to his side and when she opens her mouth to ask about him what happed Kirk merely shakes his head and retrieves his communicator from the belt around his hips – turning his body away from Uhura who had reached her arms out to take the child away from him.

''Scotty – prepare a landing party. Six man team oughta do it. Send them down to our coordinates and prepare to beam three of us back. McCoy, me and an infant.''

''Right you are, Sir. Give us a moment to tweak the settings and I'll have ya up in a jiffy.''

Kirk motions for McCoy to join him and turns to Sulu.

''Mr Sulu, expect company in about five minutes. We read one more life sign aboard. Get to it, help how you can but don't drop your guard. You saw what was in those rooms. Somehow I don't think whoever flew this hunk of junk would even think twice about doing the same thing to you.''

''Yes Sir.'' Sulu and Uhura chime in unison before taking up strategic positions against the wall to watch for danger.

Kirk looks towards his other half and back down to the boy. His priority was clear.

''Sir, we are ready to beam you aboard.'' Scotty's strong drawling accent making its way through his open comm.

''Energise''

Jim walks calmly to sickbay, ignoring the curious looks and intrigued faces that fall on him and follow him around. He finds he keeps looking down at the boy. He is still wearing his hood, his hair from what Jim can tell is jet black beneath the dirt and the grime and his eyes while dull and lifeless - would be no doubt be a beautiful hazel when he grew up.

I will make damn sure that this kid will grow up Kirk fumes as he passes through the doors into the examination room.

''Set him down on the table Jim and I'll have a look at him.''

''Ok little one, down we go.''

He places the boy down slowly, careful to support his weak body and the child continues to lie there, arms at his side not moving.

''Hey, you're starting to worry me here buddy.'' Kirk says as he holds the kid's tiny feet between his hands, hoping the warmth of them will draw some sort of reaction as he slowly rubs them.

Jim sighs as he leans over, his hand reaching towards the hood, he pulls it back slowly and sees that the boy's hair is surprisingly long and that there is quite a lot of it for his age. He makes to tuck some of it behind his ear – index finger at his temple, thumb brushing his chin - but the moment his finger comes into contact with the boy's skin…

Something was in his head.

Twisting, looping, threading and coiling away in there to the very centre of his core. Fragments of memories of things he had never seen, tasted, smelled or experienced poured into his mind. Snippets of unfamiliar languages and conversation take place in front of him and he is nauseated by the sound as it speeds up and slows down to the point where surely he must pass out soon because wow – holy fuck what the hell was this?!

Something has settled inside his mind permanently. He can feel it. A heavy sadness, aching despair and loneliness clutching away at him; seeking for something that he is not sure he can give.

He takes a deep breath to steady himself, hearing somewhere far off into the distance Bones screaming his name to snap out of it.

A shrill cry pierces the room and Jim's last thought before he passes out was that he was right about the kid's eyes.

Now that they were watching him; they were indeed beautiful.


	4. Chapter 4

''And that … is how I met my son.'' Jim explains and Spock opens his eyes.

''You adopted an infant you found abandoned aboard a derelict ship and left your position only a year after attaining your lifelong dream of becoming Captain?''

Spock fights the urge to mention that this is highly illogical even if he applauds and wholeheartedly agrees with James' decision.

''Well... it was the right thing to do you know.'' Jim hums around a spoonful of ice-cream; their lunch date having entered into their third hour without either of them noticing.

''I am in awe of your decision. However, if I had come upon an infant I am not certain that I would have followed the same path as you have. As you are aware I have never served in Starfleet. I must admit that the thought of doing so has long plagued my mind but my responsibilities over the last four years have all revolved around the care and tutoring of my daughter. This has left little time to ruminate on my own future.''

'You want to join Starfleet?'' Jim asks in all seriousness and Spock blushes as he realises he has shared a secret with this man that he has kept to himself since he was fourteen years of age.

''You have an uncanny ability to draw information out of me that I otherwise would never have shared.'' Spock remarks and James' smile widens over the spoon in his mouth, his eyes creasing with fondness in the corners as he accepts the hidden compliment.

''God, I'm sorry Spock. I've spent all this time nattering away about my kid and I haven't even gotten round to asking you any questions.''

''There is not much to tell. I relocated here from Vulcan three years ago where I took up a position at a library that enables me to have access to all matter of materials upon which to educate myself and my daughter. During the course of the evening when T'lera slumbers I assist various companies in reinforcing their security protocols. I am quite adept at programming.''

'Ah, I see. I used to dabble myself once upon a time. Have you heard of the Kobayashi Maru test that all cadets must take if they're in command track?''

''I have indeed heard of it. I was the primary programmer for the test. It was a chance I was given while at school on Vulcan to associate with Starfleet. A Captain Decker located me after witnessing me complete a day's worth of material on computational mathematics in just under two hours. I find that humans as a whole are most easily impressed by that which they wish they could themselves achieve.'' He sips his last sip of water, the glass being carefully placed back down – pinkie cushioning the noise.

''Wow, so you're the guy whose ass I wanted to kick ten years ago.'' Jim laughs, his hands slapping his knees, head shaking in amusement. ''You have no idea the lengths I had to go to in order to pass that damn test. Bones says I aged ten years every time I failed.''

Spock can do nothing but stare at the sight of this human laughing.

 **How beautiful.**

A strange sensation sweeps over him which fills his chest to near bursting point, his hand flinches with an unknown urge to complete an action which he has never before attempted.

''I do apologise if I caused you any distress; my test was merely to see if the cadets were capable of making impossible decisions and how their mental state would manage under severe pressure.''

Jim waves his spoon with an air of dismissal. ''Don't worry about it, I beat your test and got my own ship in the end. It taught me a lot about perseverance and not to mention things about myself that I've never bothered to look too deeply in to.'' He says as his eyes briefly glaze over no doubt recalling an incident of deeper reflection.

Spock continues to stare – his eyes taking in every minute detail to recall later in private. Jim waves over the waitress asking for their bill. Before Spock could protest their meal had been paid for and cheekily Jim gives him a ''wink'' which sends Spock's already turbulent vortex of butterflies in his stomach – into complete and utter overdrive.

''Would you like to go for a walk? I think I need to burn off some of those calories I just devoured.'' A small chuckling-snort escapes him and Spock lifts a brow at the sound. Curious.

A creeping feeling of disappointment stills the butterflies at the thought of not getting to spend any more time with Jim but T'lera must come first. She always will. ''I am interested in the offer however I have to collect my daughter from school.''

''Hey, that's cool. I have to fetch David as well and I've got an ice-cream shift with Bones later.''

''If you teach classes on campus am I to assume that you are a professor?''

''Yeah, I hold three different classes. Xenolinguistics, Strategy and Tactics - and for shits and giggles because most people who have seen me think that I'm nothing but a pretty face – I do a class on warp core analysis and theory.

''Fascinating.'' Spock says with such awe in his voice that he is pleased to notice that Jim turns a brilliant pink and hides his face into his shoulder as he gives a cough in embarrassment.

''T-thanks, Spock.'' James splutters before checking the time- eyes scanning the environment- head cocking to the side as he does a quick calculation on how long he will need to get to David's school.

Spock decides that he cannot let this moment pass and mustering up the courage he once used when leaving his home planet he opens his mouth.

''James, would it be permissible of me to ask if we could meet again? I … I have thoroughly enjoyed your company and I would look forward to a repeat encounter.''

''Hell yes, that would be amazing Spock.'' He smiles as bright as the sun, tinges of pink on his cheeks clashing with the gold streaks in his hair.

''I am gratified you feel this way.'' Spock murmurs quietly, his heart beating a mile a minute.

''Perhaps we could do dinner?'' Jim asks, closing the restaurant door behind him, his hands combing the stray hair out of his eyes as the wind blows across his face.

''That would be acceptable. Perhaps …tomorrow night?'' he asks hesitantly - conscious that humans aren't accustomed to the Vulcan ways of efficiency and speed.

''I like your thinking Spock. Yeah, tomorrow night. Sounds great.''

The two stare at one another for perhaps longer than is necessary in their shared moment until Jim pulls back with a step, Spock following suit.

He raises his hand in the customary taal and says his farewells - grateful that Jim has made no move to touch him as humans do after dates and yet disappointed and conflicted because he yearns for that very same touch.

Spock turns around and prepares for his fifteen minute walk to the other side of town where his daughter is currently being schooled and to his surprise Jim falls in step alongside him.

''My kids school is this way as well.'' He laughs a bit nervously and Spock nods his head in acknowledgement of the statement.

''Then we will indeed partake in a walk together after all.''

''Does T'lera go to school nearby?''

''St Marys on Tudor Street. A fine establishment that offers excellent education and recreational activities for a growing mind. T'lera benefits much from their teachings.''

''So she should be in year zero right now, cause she's what… four now?''

''She is in fact in classes with eight year olds. I worry that she does not have any playmates but the others have taken to her presence surprisingly well. She is after all Vulcan. She excels at the majority of tasks she puts her mind to.'' Jim stifles a snigger at the pride he can hear in Spock's voice and this earns him another raised eyebrow.

''My boy is special too, but he unfortunately isn't doing too well in school at the moment. He has a few…issues. Bones and I are trying our hardest to resolve them. It's slow going but we've made a lot of progress in the last three years.'' Jim's mood turns solemn and Spock scrambles internally to bring about his cheery nature again.

''What school does your son attend?''

''He's currently attending Joan Cuthberts. The school provides an aid and makes sure he doesn't get in to too much trouble.''

''He is five years old correct?''

''Yep. Just turned five last month.''

Conversation lulls for a while, the two simply walking side by side until Jim stops beside a fenced converted cathedral.

''This is me. He should be coming out any minute now; then it's off to the park to play for a while.'' Jim grins but his smile has dimmed and doesn't quite reach his eyes anymore. Spock is disturbed to note that he wishes to lay a hand on the man's shoulder in comfort.

''I will bid you farewell then. Live long and prosper James Kirk. I look forward to your company tomorrow night.''

''Me too, Spock. Oh, hey wait, before you go – here.'' Spock's communicator beeps as a sudden message appears with an unknown number.

''That's my number…T'lera gave it to me last night but I didn't want to totally scare you off by messaging you before our date.''

''You would not have scared me. Vulcans do not get scared.''

''Of course not. Anyway, just in case I'll be late tomorrow or if you end up not being able to come, we can just message each other now instead of going through your matchmaking four year old.''

''Indeed.'' He nods once and turns on his heel walking away, leaving a smiling Jim behind him. He hears the bells of the church begin to chime, the shrieks and clattering of books on the floor from children bursting to regain their freedom permeating the air as he walks to the nearest pedestrian crossing.

The light is red - traffic having suddenly risen due to the hour of the school run and he folds his hands behind his back as he waits patiently for his permission to cross.

He hears a familiar and pleasing voice drift across to him on the breeze and without consciously meaning to his body turns in the direction.

A small dark headed child with a blue rucksack on his drooping shoulder has walked towards Jim. The boy's lower lip was trembling, dark red marks under his eyes evidence that he has spent quite some time weeping. Spock watches as James places a hand on the kids forehead, fingers running through the raven black hair, coming down to his face, thumb rubbing away a tear.

James says something Spock can't interpret and to his astonishment, the boy places his own tiny but grubby hand on James's face - fingers spreading wide in something that seems familiar to him but isn't- before the man's eyes close. Jim nods in agreement to some sort of question the boy has not asked aloud and Spock is perturbed to see that some sort of wordless communication was taking place.

Telepathy between humans was impossible.

The wind picks up and Spock feels his hair rustle and lift in the breeze.

His mouth opens in shock as the boys long hair blows back - revealing a delicate small pointed ear.

''Jim… Jim, come on Kid. Can you hear me?''

''Bones…Wh – Ow. Yeah, yeah ok I can hear you. Sssshh!''

''You've been completely out of it for hours now. You've taken years off my life, I tell ya. Dammit Jim, years you hear me?!'' Bones' roar echoes across the medbay and Jim hives him a sheepish grin.

''It's what I do best.'' A small shrug of his shoulders before he sits up on his bed, supported by Bones who places a hand on his elbow.

''So what the hell happened?''

''Well – turns out the kid is a hobgoblin.''

Jim's eyebrows rose so high they merged into one strand across his forehead. ''Err…what?''

''You know, green blood, organs all in the wrong places – pointed ears you dimwit!''

''He's Vulcan? Is that why I passed out when I touched him?!'' Jim asked with concern, a sensation of guilt creeping over him at so freely touching a child of a race that strongly discourages skin to skin contact.

''Not quite but you're close. He's Romulan, Jim.''

''Ok, what in the actual fuck!'' Jim throws his hands up in the air – thinking of all the legal and interplanetary ramifications this could cause - never mind the shit-storm of paperwork when it was made public knowledge.

''Your scanner tell you all of this? I mean are you abso-fucking-lutely sure that this kid is Romulan? I mean –''

''I'm positive Jim. The other ….survivor … of the ship, he - ah, well he told us that before he died.''

''He died?!'' a groan of epic proportions escapes him as bangs the back his head on the wall.

''Yeah, when we got to him he had taken several shots to the gut and was hanging on by a thread. He had only had access to a rudimentary med kit but infection had set in a few hours after receiving his wounds. Sepsis. Gets us all in the end if we're not careful.''

Jim gives a long suffering sigh – hands coming up to pinch his nose as he forces himself to breathe slowly under the mountain that has suddenly landed on his shoulders.

''So what happened to the ship and where's the kid now?''

''The kid had to be given a mild sedative to calm him down, was screaming the whole place down. We did our best to hold him, making sure not to touch his skin but it didn't help. He's asleep in the room next door.''

''Ok, so the ship?''

''We are currently on route to the nearest federation starbase. We've managed to fly the heap into the hangar bay. Our teams are doing their best to come up with an idea of what went down.''

Jim sucks in his lower lip as he blows out in a childish raspberry. ''What a mess.'' He runs a hand over his face before swinging his feet over the side of the bed, his boots hitting the floor with a thud.

''Right, well first things first – I need to check on the kid. It's the strangest thing but I feel like something is tugging at my brain. I need to go see him.''

''Now you wait just a goddamn minute. Get your ass back into bed. You know what kind of mumbo jumbo was done to your brain after touching the little devil.'' He says angrily as he shoves Kirk back on to the bed.

''I'm fine seriously. I just need to check up on him and then hit the showers before getting back on to the bridge.''

''Over my de-'' he splutters before Nyota walks into the room, ponytail swishing and eyes pointedly staring in frustration at Kirk.

''Hey Babe!'' Kirk hollers and gets a shushing from Bones who points to the room next door where the kid is being kept.

''Jim Kirk you just can't go one mission without it going tits up, can you?'' her voice weary with concern as she places a quick kiss on his cheek.

Jim winks at her and pulls her down to his side. ''Well you know me… resident bad boy out for adventure.''

''Resident idiot. What were you thinking touching a Romulan child so freely.'' She wallops his arm affectionately and he smiles up at her hands folding behind his head.

''You say this like I knew the kid would knock me out the moment I touched him. It is a him, right?'' he looks over questioningly at Bones who rolls his eyes in the affirmative.

''Kid, this tuggin' in your noggin' – is it still there? Is there any pain?''

Kirk puckers his lips and closes his eyes while he roots around in his own head. ''Yeah, no there's no pain, more like an incessant need to do something but I can't quite understand what it means which means I guess - that I have to go check it out.''

''Can you NOT touch the baby again until I'm sure of what it is that we are dealing with here?''

Uhura makes a displeased face and turns to the doctor with a frown. ''Isn't that kind of cruel. Surely after all he's been through it wouldn't be a bad thing to give him some affection?''

Bones sighs and takes a seat on the other empty biobed. ''I don't mean to be cruel darlin' but what with the baby being a Romulan they share similar traits to Vulcans when it comes to touch, telepathy and mind voodoo that I'm not all too familiar with. Better be safe than sorry. ''

''You have any contacts we can call to discuss this Bones?'' Jim makes to get up again before Uhura's glare sends him back down.

''Yeah, an old colleague of mine M'Benga – studied on Vulcan, he may know a few things that us mere humans aren't allowed to know.''

Uhura tips her head to the side, her folded arms demanding more than requesting an answer. ''What do you have against Vulcans Leonard?''

''Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there was a little boy who dreamed of being a doctor and studying at the finest institute which would give him the best medical knowledge in the galaxy. The Vulcan Academy. 'Cept back then they didn't allow us puny humans to attend.''

''So you applied and they rejected you? On what basis.''

''Cultural differences and incompatibility to the lifestyle on Vulcan. Hogwash if you ask me but as I said back then it's mostly cause I was human. M'Benga got in thanks to higher up connection but this old farm boy stood no chance.'' A flicker of jealousy then acceptance flits over the doctor's face before he stands and heads for the exit.

''Playtimes over. Uhura – keep the Captain in bed for another hour just to be safe and after that straight to his quarters for the night. Jim, don't go near that baby till we know more, understand?''

''Yeah, I'll try my best.'' He grins mischievously as Uhura titters with laughter causing the disgruntled doctor to face him ''I mean it Jim! God knows wha-''

'Alright, alright I'll stay away.''

''Good.''

It's late into the night and having seen to the last of his official duties, Jim collapses on top of his bed. His headache has increased tenfold over the last six hours since his escape from the medbay and no amount of hypos he has self-administered has taken away the ''tugging''.

It's been a stressful day he muses before pulling himself up to lean against the wall, his knee raised as he grabs his pad from the bedside table, intending to read for a bit before going to sleep. He gets three pages into his book before realising he hasn't actually processed a single word he's read. With frustration he places it back on the nightstand and lies flat on his back, arms behind his head.

What was this bloody thing in his head? Was it the kid? By touching him had he somehow communicated with the little tyke in a way that he shouldn't have?

He rolls over on to his side, then turns, then stands only to sit back down in his armchair staring out the window. His restlessness has always been a problem but tonight he literally could not sit still.

He had to go see the kid. He wouldn't touch him obviously, but maybe he could answer a few of his questions if he just got near him and …spoke to him or something. Not that he was expecting a baby to be a great conversationalist but...

He dresses into a loose pair of gym pants; the grey matched with a white top before pulling on his trainers as he runs a hand through his wayward hair, thoughts briefly touching on getting a haircut before leaving his quarters.

Only a skeleton crew is currently operating the ship, the majority of them tucked up in their beds and Jim doesn't pass anyone till he reaches medbay. Christine Chapel starts to walk towards him but he raises a hand and she stops in her tracks. Shaking her head in exasperation as she clearly knows where he's off to but not having any say so in the matter if it's the Captain himself who overrules her decision- she disappears behind a curtain and Jim carries on quietly down to the hall to the kid.

He steps through and immediately he notices that the tugging has lessened, he feels a bit more at ease the closer he gets to the infant. He sees the stirring of little arms beneath blankets and he is consumed with thoughts of wanting to pick the kid up. Except it wasn't his thoughts... it was the babies.

''Jesus…'' he sighs and he starts to recall all the scripture and obscure information he has learned about Romulans on his many travels and adventures, comparing them with Vulcan - before his brain picks up on the term 'link' and his eyes go wide.

''Did you link with me without my consent?'' he asks the baby incredulously as it stares up at him, its beautiful hazel eyes piercing through him and Jim is hit with another flash of need; this time the need for food hits him upside the head causing him to wince and he backs away hastily before hearing the kid whimper.

''I mean, I won't be angry if you did you're just a baby after all, I mean, I know Vulcans and Romulans all come with some innate intelligence but don't you think this is something that could've waited until - I don't know you could maybe talk? – All's I'm saying here is that this is a dick move.''

The baby continues to stare at him as its lower lips begins to tremble; its tiny malnourished hand grasping up at the sky in his direction. Kirk blows out a breath and instead takes hold of the kid's clothed feet again, rubbing slowly and the boy drops his hand.

''We need to figure out what's happening here, you know. Cause if you have linked with me, that means that you consider me to be some kind of father figure or guardian and I tell you what kid, I had no plans on ever becoming a father this young and I haven't got the first clue on what to do.''

Jim looks around the room and spies a bottle on the far seat, the milk being kept warm with a mini incubator which he was sure at some point was filled with Snarlack eggs found on Sigma nine. He shakes the bottle and with his thoughts racing back forth faster than warp speed he places it into the baby's mouth who splutters and mewls softly in pain.

''Oh god, you see what I mean little guy, I didn't even think to check the temperature of the damn milk.'' He babbles apologetically and setting it down next to the makeshift cot he leans both arms over the beds railings and hangs his head.

''I would have to give up being Captain if I took care of you.'' Jim's blue eyes lock with the boys and a small smile appears on his face as he witnesses the kid's first snot bubble.

''I've worked really hard to get where I am. Youngest Captain in the fleet you know.'' He says as he wiggles the baby's foot with humour.

Again he gets the urge to pick the child up into his arms and he smothers it down; the baby frowns and his eyes start to go lifeless again making Kirk panic and scoop him up into the air without a second throught.

''Well, I'm not technically touching you.'' He says as he holds him at arm's length above the ground, his thumbs digging into the small onesie they had made with help from the replicator.

Jim can see the kid is too tired to put up much more of a fuss but his head is raised at least and a wary eye was keeping track of him, his tiny leg kicking in the breeze.

''What am I gonna do with you kid? You can't look like I've crushed your whole world simply because I won't pick you up. That's not fair. My heart strings can't take it.'' He chuckles and get a small sigh from the pointed eared elf.

The urge to clutch this lonely and desperate child to his chest grew the longer he gazed into its eyes and ignoring the countless warnings Bones had given him through messages and comm calls throughout the course of the day, he brought the baby into the crook of his arm.

''There... is that any better little guy?'' he hums affectionately as a yawn escapes the boy and he nuzzles further in; a sleepy hand reaches up towards Jim's chin and he bends down slowly aware that this could all blow up in his face but unable to deny the boy anything in this moment.

He feels the small hand grab at his chin, the stubble scratching as the boy flexes his fingers across it before a rush of emotion hits him in the chest and it takes him a while to place the feeling.

Gratitude.

''I guess... you and I are going to get to know one another really well - aren't we?''

He sings a soft lullaby his mother once sang to him, the tiny life in his arms closing its eyes as a gentle snore begins.

''I think I'll call you David.'' he whispers as he settles into a nearby chair.


	5. Chapter 5

Spock is currently experiencing a mild case of anxiety. He places himself down crossed-legged in the middle of the lounge floor and supresses the urge to bite at his bottom lip. T'lera has been collected from school and has not ceased in asking him - what he feels is a thousand or more questions - about his meetings with James earlier this afternoon and he sighs internally as the barrage of curiosity and insistent pestering continues to assault his ears.

''T'lera. Please do sit down.'' He says quietly and watches his little girl narrow her eyes before taking a seat opposite him. She crosses her arms and raises a small eyebrow in impatience.

Spock sighs and takes a deep breath before opening his eyes. ''What have we discussed in regards to privacy?'' her eyes lower and he sees her mouth move and shape words but no sounds come out.

''Daughter.'' He prompts – his voice as even and steady as it has always been; however he trusts that she knows him well enough by now to look beyond that and to discern when she is in trouble and when she is not.

''I cannot hear you. Please speak up.''

''I know… but I just wanted to see you smile again.''

''I thank thee for the sentiment but it is not appropriate to be conversing with a stranger through comms that you do not know, that you have only met once and it is even more inappropriate to become involved in the affairs of adults.''

Her lip begins to tremble and he softens his voice deliberately. ''I trust now that I have reiterated my concern to you that you will consider your actions more carefully when tempted in the future.''

T'lera nods once and while he is sceptical and some part of him knows he will be repeating his words for the next several years at most – for now he is content that she has been disciplined accordingly and that they can now move on.

''As for your queries regarding my meeting with James T Kirk. It was satisfactory.''

''Is that all?'' she ask incredulously her arms flying up. Occasionally she is more human than necessary he thinks.

''What else would you have me say?''

''Will you be meeting again? When? Did he mention me? Did you like your food? What food did you eat? Would you eat there again? Did yo-''

''The air grows thin in here my daughter. Breathe.'' She giggles and flops back down to the ground before him.

''Did you really like him?''

''Yes. He was most….unexpected and …fascinating.'' He explains, his hand coming up to straighten his robes at this throat.

''He has a son. One year younger than you. I have come to believe that he is Vulcan. As we are.''

''Wow! Really. Do you think I could I play with him sometime?'' she shoots up again and he marvels at her energy. Does she not ever tire?

''I do not know. Having only just met and not having been informed of the boys origins through James' own words I do not think it would be wise to rush any meeting.''

''Did he have a baby with a Vulcan lady like you did with Mother?''

''No. He has adopted the boy.''

''Then he has no Mother?'' she asks quietly and he hums in the affirmative, taking note of her sudden dip in mood.

He reaches out to her and places a finger on her temple, her surface thoughts have combined into a vortex of pain, confusion and determination. A curious combination. She casts her eyes up at him and gives him a watery smile.

''My child. Why do I sense that you suddenly want to weep?'' She sniffs and quickly wipes at her eyes in a blurred movement before sitting up straight.

''I would like meet this boy, father. I feel that we may have many things in common.''

Spock stands and holds out his hands in front of him and she accepts them as she is pulled up onto her feet. He keeps hold of her and leads them out onto the balcony overlooking the garden. The sunflowers they had planted together in full bloom swaying gently in the breeze, the aroma of summer in the air.

''T'lera – I do not know if you and your mother will ever reconcile. Perhaps with time and consideration the two of you may come to have an amenable relationship.''

''And you and mother?'' he shakes his head solemnly and she sighs, knowing the answer at her tender young age but still confused about it.

''I do not understand why.''

''Perhaps when you are older and able to understand the intricacies of our culture in regards to bonding, you will see why your mother and I were never meant to be together.''

The pair stand for a while, falling into a rare few moments of companionable silence overlooking the garden before she suddenly spins on her heels, hand above her eyes to look up at him questioningly.

''Father, will you be meeting James again?''

''James is due to visit tomorrow night to partake in supper here at our home. Will you promise not to pester him for any information that he may not be willing to share?''

''I will endeavour to remain on my best behaviour.'' She vows seriously and a flutter of amusement ripples up his spine at the look on her face.

''I am pleased to hear you say so. Now, daughter I do believe you have neglected your studies for far too long this afternoon.'' His large hand coming to rest upon her head as she squirms slightly beneath it.

''Yes Father. Perhaps after you will read to me? I am eager to discover what happens to Moby Dick next.''

The corner of his lip twitches as he fights the urge to smile. Really… he was far too proud of his daughter's insatiable thirst for knowledge.

It is only much later that night that Spock takes the time to meditate and reflect on the day's proceedings.

He dims the lights, he ignites his lavender scented asenoi and adorning his frame with his silken robes he takes up his familiar pose of meditation. He mutters a few words to himself to set the mood.

Peace. Logic. Serenity. Wisdom.

With this he discards the multitude of barriers protecting the secrets and emotions of his mind and soul and takes a small look over to the centre where his familial bond with T'Lera is.

It sparkles brilliantly in fuchsia tones and pulses with happiness, growing brighter with each day that she grows older. Satisfied that his daughter is well - he conjures up all the hundreds upon hundreds of visual imagery he has of his time with James since meeting him.

The gold of his hair, the blue of his eyes, the black of his stubble, the pink of his cheeks beneath his lashes.

What an extraordinary human. It has been so long since he had had any worthwhile conversations with another being and he was immensely looking forward to discussing Xenolinguistics and physics in much greater detail.

He is pleased that they were able to find some common ground while conversing - as the pursuit of knowledge and all the universes mysteries of how, when and why – were exceedingly fascinating to him. The fact that he had left his career in Starfleet for a child which was not his also spoke countless words of what type of person he was and whether he was suitable to around his daughter.

Spock surmised that Kirk possessed many of the qualities that he deemed necessary and vital in a partner. Intelligence, integrity, honour and loyalty. Needless to say kindness and generosity were certainly included in that. He wondered excitedly what else he would discover about James' personality.

As for the matter of his son, David – it was an utter shock to see a child of his race reach up and so blatantly initiate a mind meld in the middle of the street. Small touches with children were allowed but why did the child simply not speak and relay the day's information to him as is normal? Did Kirk not employ the help of a Vulcan tutor to teach and instruct his child? Was David maturing under the pure influence of humans and their customs and forgoing the rich culture of their shared history? Would he be remiss in offering aid or information on such matters?

There were a great many questions that ran through his mind as he contemplated the child's upbringing and he was conscious of the fact that Kirk had mentioned that David was in a school for troubled learners. Would he cause T'lera to behave inappropriately or influence her in a way that could lead her down the wrong path? These were all questions to which he desperately craved answers but as he milled about the information available to him - he knew that the only way to discover any of these answers was to simply ask or glean them through contact with the boy.

Perhaps he should meet the boy before he allowed his daughter the chance… to ascertain his mental state of mind. However – he would have to be extremely tactful and not allow Kirk to see that he was evaluating his son as this may lead to the abrupt end of their relationship. He dismissed that train of thought.

Not seeing James' again was not an option. Something inexplicable and beautiful was drawing him to this human. He could not let it go. He would not. He checks his internal chronometer and clearing his mind as best he could given the excitement of the day – he opens his eyes slowly and begins to stretch. An hour has gone by in what has felt like mere moments. He dons his sleep wear and leaves his bedroom to check on his daughter.

The holo-projector which he had given to her for her fifth birthday illuminated her pink painted bedroom, the silver shooting stars and planets circulating on the roof a mesmerising sight to behold.

She is breathing deeply, already long into her REM sleep and illogically he enters the room and pulls the blankets up to her chin. He is aware that Vulcans run hotter than humans but he could not tolerate the thought of her being cold no matter how slim the chance. He slips through the door quietly, leaving it open on the off-chance that she may require his presence at some point even though he knows that she has long since ceased that behaviour. She may only be six years of age but she was after all a Vulcan; her independence was as strong as her will and attitude.

Reaching his bedroom he pulls back the covers and throws his sheets over his body with a small sigh. He laces his hands across his sternum and closes his eyes, preparing himself for his nightly 6.5 hours of sleep. Just as his mind begins to switch off - his comm begins to flash. The green light irritatingly penetrating the darkness behind his eyelids.

 _'Hey Spock! Just wanted to say I had a really great time. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Jim'._

His heart rate skyrockets at reading the message and he scrambles up into a sitting position. He impatiently switches on his bedside lamp before hovering his hand over the keys – eager to respond but his mind suddenly drawing a blank.

 _'James I concur with your statement. I, too, am eager to resume our conversations tomorrow evening. Spock'_

He hums for a moment, supressing his knees urge to start bouncing as he sees the three dots appear on the screen indicating that James is in the midst of replying to his message.

 _'Are we not conversing now? Technically speaking of course. ;) Jim'_

Spock lets out a small huff of amusement, his fingers flying over the keys.

'James. We are indeed; however the topic of conversation is conversation therefore I advise we pick a different topic since we have now established that we are in fact conversing. Spock'

His heart pitter-patters around his chest as he awaits the response – seeing the dots disappear and reappear multiple times to suddenly vanishing all together. Five minutes passed. Ten now and Spock illogically becomes concerned that he has somehow offended the man and begins to type out an apology only to have James interrupt him.

'Spock Sorry about the delay. David woke up. Just needed a bit of settling. Are you sure you want me to come round yours for supper? Jim'

Spock frowns and wonders if perhaps James was distrustful of him or perhaps he had reservations about attending supper in his home. He was after all - merely an acquaintance at this stage. Perhaps it was unwise to have made the offer. He swallows down his disappointment and types his response slowly.

'James If this option is not to your liking I am happy to meet elsewhere. Spock'

His pulse thunders in his ears.

'Spock **Noooooo**! That's not what I meant at all. I was just trying to be polite and give you a way to back out if you weren't comfortable with the idea anymore. I would love to come to your house. '

The **relief** he feels is palpable.

'Spock Sorry about this but I have to run. David's up again. I will call you tomorrow and get your address and discuss what time you need me there. Sweet dreams, Spock.'

Slightly concerned over David's sleeping habits he chided himself for his skittish teenage behaviour. However he was after all… very new to this past time of communicating socially via text with a potential lover. Not having had one since T'Pring. Not that she was **ever** his lover apart from that one instance and Spock sincerely doubted if she was even capable of loving anyone but herself.

Disappointed but resigned to the fact their conversation was at an end he quickly typed out a suitable farewell. Attempting to calm his mind again before sleep was proving to be challenging.

Indeed he only required three to four hours sleep a night; however since the birth of his daughter he had decided that routines should be established early on and now he went to bed to sleep each night purely out of habit- rather than out of tiredness.

His mind whirred to life once more as his stomach inexplicably tightened at the thought of James entering his home. He would freely admit that he felt nervous.

Nervous about James' interacting with T'lera, nervous about his home and possessions and whether James would find them interesting or not. All manner of illogical thoughts filled his head until finally, somewhere in the time frame of two am he finally fell asleep.

* * *

 _It was safe to say that Jim was feeling a little overwhelmed what with the whole boarding an alien ship only to kind of but not quite take on adopting a Romulan infant while commanding a starship and keeping it all quiet from the admiralty._

 _ **And breathe** he reminds himself as he snaps out of his inner whining to pay attention the EPIC rant and scolding Bones was currently dishing out._

 _''I mean for the love of god Jim! I gave you one order! JUST ONE! DON'T GO NEAR THE KID!'' He all but roars and Jim fights back a small flinch at the fury he hears in his friends voice._

 _''I know you won't believe me Bones' but something in my head wouldn't le-''_

 _P''I don't care if there was a whole bee hive buzzing around in there and crawling out through ya nostrils. You shouldn't have gone near the kid. Now you and the little elf have formed some sort of link or something and the kid can't go five minutes alone without crying for you. Do you have any idea how hard it will be to get this taken care of?'' he huffs and puffs, cheeks flaming red as he marches not paces in front of Jim._

 _''Bones, I-'' '_

 _'Shut it Kid. Now we have to think of a plan to swing by Vulcan and find a healer to sever whatever is going on between the two of you and that means speaking to the admiralty to authorise the detour and the paperwork for you and I will be enough to suffocate us both.''_

 _He finally runs out of steam and Jim has the good sense to keep quiet as he waits for the storm to pass._

 _''I couldn't leave him. And now – I'm not even sure I want to. Ever. He feels like … well, like mine, I guess.''_

 _''That's just the mind mumbo-jumbo making you feel this way Jim. I don't have a lot of speciality in Vulcan or Romulan mind practices but I do know that their links whether they are familial or not - are sacred and incredibly important to them as a species. Did you think of the trauma you would put this kid through now? Obviously his real folks didn't give a rats ass and dumped him but now you have to do it as well.''_

 _Jim sighs and combs his fingers through his hair in mild frustration, sensing David once again pulling at the strings in his mind._

 _''You're not understanding what I'm saying Bones. I will not leave him again. It's the strangest thing. You know about Tarsus, about my shit-show of a childhood and how I've always struggled to – fit in, to feel like I'm home. Holding that kid in my arms last night was the first time I've felt anything like that since before my parents died.''_

 _He stands up and looks down at his still seething friend. '_

 _'Let me make this as clear as day. I am not abandoning this kid. If I have to give it all up then so be it.''_

 _''Jesus Christ.'' Bones mutters before closing his eyes, scrunching his face up; the wrinkles making him look years older than his young 35. '_

 _'Ok, Jim. Let's say you feel this way now… once we get a healer, we'll talk again. I know it's no use asking you to stay away from him… I just… don't want either of you getting hurt. It's a damn shame that you've worked so hard to get where you are and now you're… not throwing it all away- cause what you want to do its noble - it's just a damn shame is all I'm saying.''_

 _With that he stands and dramatically pulls down his sleeves and Jim hears him say something along the lines of ''soft-hearted idiot captains'' before leaving him alone._

 _The kid instantly stops crying the moment Jim picks him up, to the pure relief of everyone in the medbay._

 _Jim tuts disapprovingly at all their sighs and groans as silence descends and smirks at Christine's scowl._

 _''I've got the magic touch.''_

 _''Should we set up a crib of some sort in your quarters for the little screamer?'' she asks affectionately as she coos at him from afar._

 _''Yes. I think that makes sense given the situation.''_

 _David blows a small bubble of spit and when it pops his eyebrows draw down in confusion at the sound. Jim laughs as he attempts the act again and fails. '_

 _'It's like he's a totally different kid. All he's been doing is crying and whenever someone tries to touch him he just ups the volume so we've tried to take care of him as best as we could.'' A note of amazement graces her voice as she watches Jim bounce David in arms slowly while making ridiculous faces at the tot._

 _The medical staff begin to laugh at seeing this side of their Captain and he blushes uncontrollably until he puts a hand up ''Alright, alright you've had your fun at my expense. Back to work.''_

 _They scatter and salute their goodbyes before he hails Scotty on the intercom system._

 _''Scotty. You're a genius right?'' ''Err… Aye Sir. If I might say so myself Sir.''_

 _''Do you think you could …toddler-proof… my quarters for me?''_

 _''Beggin' your pardon Sir…but I don't quite underst-''_

 _''The kid we rescued is going to be lodging with me Mr Scott. He needs to not kill himself on the corner of my coffee table. And he needs somewhere to sleep as I'm quite selfish when it comes to my bed.'' He chuckles when David grabs at his ear his eyes going wide at the sound._

 _''Ah…yes. Well good on ya laddie for stepping up. I will see what I can do for ya.''_

 _''Thank you Scotty. Kirk out.''_

 _'Shall we go get something to eat Kiddo?'' he hums and the boy smacks him in the lip by accident as his arm flails about. An ' **oomph** ' escapes him as the boy stills in his arms before suddenly starting to whimper._

 _Jim realises belatedly that with every touch skin on skin the kid could feel what Jim was feeling and he must have projected his shock at being whacked in the face a little too loudly through to the boy._

 _' 'Hey, hey it's okay. I'm alright. Look, see no harm done.'' He smiles the widest smile he can and hoping against hope that he was doing this right- he thinks hard about everything being okay, about being happy and watches as David slowly creeps out of his shell again._

 _''Me and you… we're gonna be alright Kid.''_

* * *

 _************* One week later *************_

* * *

 _''What the hell do you mean no Vulcan will go near him?!'' Jim furiously hisses at Pike – the back of the chair his hands are squeezing screech under the pressure as he fights the urge to fling it into the wall._

 _''It's taboo Jim. The Vulcans and Romulans may share similar DNA but the stigma attached to treating a Romulan – despite the fact that Vulcans have no feelings – would be a great big black mark on their reputation and could impact the standing their family have on Vulcan.''_

 _''But that's just ridiculous – I mean what about their Hippocratic Oaths? What about do no harm? God only knows what this kid has been through and he needs proper treatment that we as psi-nulls cannot give him! Throw me a bone here, Chris. Tell me you've got someone I can contact who could help.''_

 _''I am sorry Jim. As soon as the news broke across medical channels that Starfleet was looking for aid for a Romulan child- all our Vulcan doctors suddenly became 'exceedingly busy and had no slots available in their schedule' for some reason. We can try traditional counselling and healing with the boy through therapists and I can get you the best of the best. That's all I can do. I have to go Jim. Let me know what you decide before the month ends.''_

 _The vid goes blank abruptly and Kirk lets out a frustrated growl of fury as he kicks his chair instead. He forces himself to take deep long breaths, trying to remember that he is Captain and that it wouldnt do anyone any good to go lose his temper._

 _' 'Fine. I'll do this myself. I mean… hey… why the fuck not… I've been through trauma, I know shit - I studied enough psychology at the academy to know the signs.'' He says to the room at large and with a great heaving sigh he flops down in his seat suddenly exhausted._

 _He feels the first tingle in the back of his brain… he's learning to differentiate between them now. Each tug and tingle somehow had an unspoken word attached to it, a way to communicate directly into his brain what it was that David wanted._

 _''Ah…diaper full of shit. Wonderful.'' Kirk begins to laugh and with a resigned shrug of his shoulder he walks through his quarters to the empty room next his and scoops the smelly bundle up into his arms._

 _''Hello David.'' He murmurs softly at the boy who gurgles and places a hand against his cheek seeking reassurance that everything was ok._

 _''How do you feel about coming back to Iowa with me? We could live on my dad's farm. You'd have sunshine and trees and fields of corn to play in. We would get you into a day-care where you could make some friends? Do you like that? Does that sound good?'' He doesn't expect to get a response from the boy and yet shockingly David's arm flies back to his face and a firm ' **affirmative – yes – please** ' sort of feeling all but punches him in the gut._

 _He's slightly nauseous after that but his shock that the kid understands him is enough to send him reeling._

 _''Wait – hold up – You can understand me?'' In-credulousness is making his voice squeak and the tot kicks out with his feet. Hand slapping his cheek ' **– yes – sort of –'** feelings wash over him and he hurriedly holds the boy away from him with outstretched arms._

 _''Well, shit.''_

 _Jim laughs as the tingle in his head intensifies._


End file.
